Some individuals told me that they occasionally have the feeling that they live the life of someone else. It seems as though a piece of the puzzle is missing. This is because they allow others to make decisions on behalf of themselves. As a consequence of social pressure, we may quickly lose control of our life and we may not even be aware of this. Your work, spouse, friends, parents and others are expected of you and, despite your attempts to show them differently, they don’t see you for who you truly are.
You perceive a mismatch between who you are and who you desire to be. In order to manage expectations effectively, we must continue to regulate our behaviours. It’s like chasing after an elusive beam of light when it comes to impressing people. Everyone has their own expectations of how they perform. As a result of social pressures, it is inevitable that expectations of others may change throughout time. We have expectations solely in our minds. We finally satisfy nobody including ourselves if we attempt to please everyone simultaneously.
As a consequence, the overwhelming majority of individuals do not live their lives. The situation is furious and sad for everyone. A customer expressed his disappointment at not having achieved anything else in his life, particularly whatever he had hoped to do. His poor self-esteem might be improved if he did not make comparisons with others that I informed him would be feasible.
This person, like many others I know, addresses the difficulties of having a kid with special needs with courage on a daily basis. He and his wife act unusually, concentrated and resolutely, full of a passion and love that is hard to comprehend and appreciate for others. His failure to recognise his own brightness comes from his “frog in the pot” status. Most individuals will experience at least a few times in their life “deflating the tyres.” The presence of these individuals has been a constant throughout my life and it was not always easy to cope with them. That’s the cause.
Although I am conscious of the need to deflate my tyres, it is tough for me to do so. My heart tells me for the second time that I don’t live up to my full potential. I have asked many times if it is time for myself and others to reduce my expectations. A chronic disease diagnosis has shown me, in a small but substantial fashion, that my previous expectations of myself have caused me to be unhappy and dissatisfied. As long as I believed I had to maintain my former productivity level and, in my perspective, everyone around me, I let myself down and everyone else I believe. When I finally realised my sickness was not leaving, I realised I had to make some decisions regarding my future.
Life ought to be fair to everyone. Although we were all taught a million times (and certainly have told others) that life is unequal, it is a notion that, despite our understanding of the nuances of unfairness, does not seem to be entirely disappearing in reality. As a consequence, many of us unconsciously predict that life is fair, and we think that every injustice we suffer will be reimbursed in a certain way, even if we do nothing to alter the situation.
You must liberate yourself from this mentality if you were bound by it for a long time (work on your emotional intelligence if this is a struggle for you). Do not depend on other people or forces to assist you to get back on your feet, when anything “unfair” occurs. There is not always a comfort reward, and the sooner you stop searching for it, the sooner you may adopt measures that have a good effect.
I’m sure the changes will arise. The capacity of a person to put his or her neck and find possibilities is one of his or her most significant achievements. However, even if you deserve a raise, promotion or company vehicle, you will not receive it. It is your responsibility to ensure that it happens. You must make the required effort first before you continue to claim what is yours correctly. If we restrict ourselves to the resources we have at our disposal, we are at the mercy of others.
I believe everyone should like me. A wide range of kind, polite and respectful people are disliked by others without obvious reason because they have barriers to stumbling that suggest that others have blocks to stumble. Whenever you believe everyone wants you, feelings may be harmed if they are not warranted. (It’s impossible to have everything.) If you presume that others appreciate you, you take shortcuts; before you start making requests and requirements, you lay the foundation to understand what the other person thinks.